


I'm Sorry

by Lowwrek



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, F/F, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:21:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lowwrek/pseuds/Lowwrek
Summary: In which Rose talks to Kanaya's grave after a long, Christmas's Eve day with the others. And yes Kanaya is dead u_u.
Relationships: Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Comments: 20
Kudos: 2





	I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy there! This is my very first work that I've uploaded here and I'm not really familiar with writing often so yeah bare with me here. It's pretty short and there's really no plot behind it but this was made so that I could get familiar with posting in this website so yeah les go.  
> If you actually read this, then I hope you like it lmao?

_Rose finds herself walking towards the local graveyard after a long day with Dave and the others, finally ready to end the celebrations with her love. Jade flowers and roses being held by a single arm as she makes her way to a very beautiful tombstone. It was new. Fresh. No marks or dirt around it. Neat (compared to the others at least.) In it was engraved "Kanaya Maryam_   
_XXXX-XXXX".  
The blonde kneels before it, dropping her flowers by her side as her face falls. Visibly hard for her to keep her composure and not break down. And it starts._

  
"Hey  
Today was a fun day y'know. You would've loved it. John pulled a prank on Dave and he's still not over it. I swear I've never seen Dave be so expressive before. You should've seen it." _As she speaks, the girl darts her eyes everywhere minus the tombstone. Weak smile across her face as a small sob makes its way to the corner of her eyes._  
 _She sighs. Face falling again. Gripping whatever was near her, in this case, the flowers and a fistful of grass._

"God Kanaya I-  
I'm so sorry.  
You should be here right now. You...  
You were supposed to survive that. You were supposed to.... god... I predicted it for the love of god! Where did it go wrong?" _Her tone starts to rise. As if trying to scream but keeping her cool somewhat. Hands frantically rising to her chest, as if she were to punch her torso. Tears finally rolling down her cheeks._  
"I'm sorry.  
Maybe... maybe if i.... i... I WAS RIGHT THERE! I COULDVE WARNED YOU- PUSHED YOU- SAVE YOU!!! MAYBE IF I AT LEAST TRIED TO DO _SOMETHING_... MAYBE YOU WOULD STILL BE HERE- ALIVE- WITH ME- AND THE OTHERS- I.... I... Fuck I'm so sorry...." _Her tone dropped again. What was once a tear or two rolling down slowly started to turn into many, many streams of tears. Making their way from her shin to the cold grass below her. After her last sentence she dropped her head to the tombstone. Forehead pressed against the cool stone of her wife's tombstone. Inhaling sharply._

"I'm sorry....  
I'm sorry for letting you down.  
I'm sorry for not saving you.  
I'm sorry for not warning you.  
I'm sorry for staying still as the hit came.  
I'm sorry for being so stubborn about my visions.  
I'm sorry for not listening to you. For not enjoying that last time while it lasted.   
I'm sorry-  
I'm sorry.....  
I let you down... i let everyone down I always have-  
I  
I..." _She sighs. Just like a few minutes ago her tone dropped and rose as the words came. Regret and despair in her voice as she spoke. Trembling. Shaking. Feeling the chill of the winter cold air running through her hair. Tears going dry and replaced by new ones._

  
"You should be here right now. You should be here with me...   
We should be at home. Wrapped in blankets while drinking hot cocoa. The fire keeping us warm as we watch one of those cliche Christmas movies that you hate..." _She chuckled._ "All cuddled up as the shitty dialogue goes on..."

_And so, the seer started laughing. A small giggle that broke into laughter as tears started to form again._

  
"But now...  
I'm cold. Alone. Watching shitty movies with Dave and the others... They miss you too, y'know. We all do....  
I'd do anything to be with you again, my love. To go back in time and save you. To at least see your face one more time..." _And that was as far as words could work for her. She began to cry again. Sniffing and wiping some tears away. Unable to form words for the time being. She placed a hand next to her head in the tombstone. Breathing heavily. Chest rising and falling rapidly. Soon, a weak smile was formed on her lips. Regaining some strength. Rising her head from the tombstone and using her hand for support, leaving it there._

  
"I hope that one day, you forgive me. And that I can be good enough to join you in heaven one day, dear. I'll try my best. Even if you don't forgive me. I'll be waiting. When my time in this world is over, I'll see you again. Or well. I hope..." _The blonde took a pause. **I'm pathetic.** She thought. A final tear running down as she sighs._

"I hope that... you remember me." _The girl finally took a hold of the flowers she brought. Placing them on her lap as she fidgeted with the lace that kept the flowers together._

"Because I'll never forget you." _And so the seer places the flowers in front of the tombstone. Wiping the remains of her tears afterwards. Right when she was about to stand up, she felt cold through her jacket and scarf. A chilly feeling she hadn't felt before. And she smiled. **She's here.** She thought. And closed her eyes. Feeling the cold embrace of the dead. Small tears forming once more._

_As she stays there, kneeling in front of the tombstone, she hears a small whisper. Barely audible but enough for her to know it was there._

**_I Forgive You._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Aaand that's it. Criticism is more than welcomed in the comments and apart from that I hope that you have a wonderful day!


End file.
